Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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