when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
literally had 100 drinks last night.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
