the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
