I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
