Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
