haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
