i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
