You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
