Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
