Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
