he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize