I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
