Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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