By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
