JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize