Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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