well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
