im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
