I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
