ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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