that's an acceptable place to lick
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
