the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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