My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
