Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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