Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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