Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just want to make out with him forever
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
