shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just tell him i said nine months
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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