his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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