yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
