im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
