My brain says no but my pants say off.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
