What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
