Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
