; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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