she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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