Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
