Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
