Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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