My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
