used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
