Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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