he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
