great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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