just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I smell stomach acid.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
