im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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