No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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