You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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