No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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