So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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