What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
