your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
