There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
