see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
