HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
