Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
