you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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