Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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