but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
