He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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