That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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